"I Never Thought It Would Happen to Me"

One sentence has stayed with me throughout my career in the personal safety industry. I've heard it from robbery victims, burglary victims, parents whose children had frightening experiences at college, and retirees who lost their life savings to sophisticated scams. The details were always different, but the opening line was almost always the same: "I never thought it would happen to me."

Of course they didn't. Neither do most of us.

Human beings are naturally optimistic, and that's one of our greatest strengths. We expect to arrive home safely. We assume our children will make it back without incident. We believe tomorrow will probably look a lot like today, and most of the time we're right. The problem isn't optimism. The problem is when optimism quietly becomes complacency. There's an important distinction between believing things will probably be fine and believing there's no reason to prepare. Those are not the same thing.

We prepare extensively for the things we expect. Think about the amount of planning that goes into a family vacation. We research flights, reserve hotels, plan activities, make packing lists, check the weather, and map out restaurants before we ever leave home. Yet very few families spend even fifteen minutes talking about what they would do if someone was followed home, if a teenager's phone died while traveling, if an elderly parent received a convincing scam call, or if family members became separated during a hurricane evacuation. It's not because people don't care. It's because they don't expect those situations to happen to them.

I saw this pattern over and over again during my years leading one of the country's largest personal safety companies. A burglary would make headlines, a college assault would dominate the news cycle, or a high-profile scam would wipe out someone's retirement savings. Almost immediately, the phones would begin ringing. Orders would increase because people suddenly wanted pepper spray or other safety products. What had really changed wasn't the level of crime. Crime had simply become personal. Something happened close enough to remind people that bad things occasionally happen to ordinary families. Every time I saw that pattern, I found myself wishing we could have reached those customers a month earlier.

One of the realities I've learned is that crime doesn't wait for a convenient time. Criminals don't postpone their plans until you've finished dinner, replaced the batteries in your flashlight, or had a chance to prepare your family. Life doesn't work that way. Preparedness isn't about predicting the future. It's about recognizing that the future is, by its very nature, unpredictable.

That's why I've become convinced that we need to normalize conversations about personal safety. We have no hesitation discussing smoke detectors, seat belts, CPR, retirement planning, life insurance, or financial security. Those are considered responsible conversations. So why should it feel awkward to ask your college freshman how they're getting home tonight? Why do so few families talk with their parents about fraud and financial scams? Why don't more households establish a meeting place if everyone becomes separated during an emergency? These shouldn't be uncomfortable discussions. They should simply be part of being a family.

One thing I've noticed over the years is that the most prepared people rarely look prepared. They don't advertise what emergency supplies they keep, brag about what they carry, or make preparedness part of their identity. They simply develop good habits. They lock their doors, replace expired batteries, know where important documents are stored, pay attention to their surroundings, and think ahead. Preparedness, in my experience, is surprisingly quiet.

Some readers mistakenly assume that encouraging preparedness means encouraging people to live cautiously or fearfully. That's never been my message. I travel, attend concerts, eat in restaurants, stay in hotels, and enjoy life just like everyone else. The difference is that I pay attention while I'm doing those things. Enjoying life and preparing for the unexpected are not opposing ideas. In fact, they're complementary. Good preparation often gives people greater confidence to enjoy life because they've already thought through the possibilities.

People frequently ask me what the best pepper spray is. It's a fair question, but it's rarely the first question I think families should ask. I'd much rather hear someone ask, "What conversations should my family be having?" That's where preparedness really begins. Products eventually expire. Habits don't. Conversations shape habits, habits become routines, and over time those routines become part of a family's culture.

If I could leave readers with one thought, it would be this: I don't expect everyone who reads Fight Back to become a customer. That has never been the primary purpose of this publication. What I hope is that one article inspires one family to have one important conversation they otherwise wouldn't have had. Maybe it's about college safety. Maybe it's about scams targeting older adults. Maybe it's about emergency contacts or evacuation plans. I don't know which conversation your family needs, but I do know it's always better to have it before it's necessary rather than afterward.

Nobody plans to become a victim. That's completely understandable. But every family can make a conscious decision not to become an easy one. There's a great deal of wisdom in that distinction.

If you're looking for a place to begin, start with a few simple questions around the dinner table. If your phone died right now, whose number could you call from memory? If your family had to leave the house in ten minutes, what would you take? What would you do if you believed someone was following you home? If Grandma received a frantic phone call claiming one of the grandchildren had been arrested, what should she do before sending money? Where would everyone meet if you became separated during an evacuation? Who outside your immediate family knows how to contact everyone else?

The older I get, the more convinced I become that personal safety isn't really about products. Products have their place, and training certainly matters, but families that communicate well almost always make better decisions when something unexpected happens. I've watched that pattern repeat itself throughout my career, and I suspect it always will.

About the Author

David Happe has spent more than three decades helping families think differently about personal safety. During his career he has served as Executive Vice President of Mace Security International, President of Fox Labs Pepper Spray, founded Vigilant Personal Protection Systems, spoken at the International Security Conference (ISC), and now manufactures pepper spray in the United States. Through Fight Back, he shares the lessons he's learned from a lifetime in the personal safety industry.

Thank you for reading Fight Back.

I started Fight Back because I believe good information can make people safer. If this article sparked one worthwhile conversation in your family, then it accomplished exactly what I hoped it would.

I read every email because many of the best ideas for future articles come directly from readers.

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Until next time...

Take Your Safety Into Your Own Hands™

David Happe
Founder, PepperSprayWarehouse.com