The Things The College Admissions Advisor Doesn't Tell Your Student

I’ve spent a significant part of my career talking with parents preparing to send their children off to college. On the surface, those conversations were about products—pepper spray, personal alarms, safety whistles, flashlights—but in reality, they were about something much deeper. They were about letting go.

Every August, the same pattern would repeat itself. Parents would call because their son or daughter was leaving home for the first time, and beneath their questions about safety tools was a shared concern: how do you protect someone when you’re no longer there to do it for them? After eighteen years of being the one who solves problems, sets boundaries, and keeps watch, that transition is not easy. I understand it, because I’ve had those conversations myself.

What I’ve learned over the years is that families often spend weeks preparing for college in very practical ways—shopping for dorm decorations, choosing meal plans, buying textbooks and laptops. Yet the most important preparation is often overlooked. It’s not something you can pack in a box or order online. It’s a conversation.

College Is Different

College isn’t inherently dangerous, but it is fundamentally different. For many young adults, it’s the first time they experience complete independence. There’s no one telling them when to come home, no one keeping track of where they are, and no one immediately noticing if they don’t return at night. At the same time, they’re suddenly surrounded by thousands of people they’ve never met before.

This isn’t meant to create fear—it’s simply reality. Learning how to navigate that environment safely is part of growing up. But like any new experience, it requires preparation.

The Statistics Matter, But They Don’t Tell the Whole Story

There’s no shortage of data about safety on college campuses, particularly when it comes to issues like sexual assault. However, the numbers vary depending on how incidents are defined, how surveys are conducted, and how often crimes are reported. One thing remains consistent across nearly every study: many incidents go unreported.

Because of that, I don’t believe parents should become consumed by statistics. Numbers can inform us, but they don’t prepare us. Preparation comes from conversations—honest, practical discussions about awareness, decision-making, and personal responsibility.

I Don’t Want My Kids Afraid

Neither do I. Fear isn’t the goal. Confidence is.  There's a huge difference between kids not being afraid, and kids not being aware.

Confidence comes from knowing what to do before something happens. It comes from understanding how to recognize a situation that doesn’t feel right and having the clarity to act on that instinct. That’s why I believe every family should have a real conversation before move-in day—not a lecture, but a dialogue.

Here’s What I Told My Own College Daughter

If something feels wrong, leave. It doesn’t matter if someone thinks you’re being rude. It doesn’t matter if someone paid for dinner or if everyone else decides to stay. Your safety is never something you owe to another person.  Trust your intuition.

That principle applies in more situations than most people realize. Whether it’s a party, a date, or simply walking across campus, the ability to trust your instincts and act on them is one of the most important skills a young adult can develop.

Your Phone Is a Safety Tool

Today’s students carry a powerful safety tool with them at all times: their phone. It’s more than a way to stay connected socially—it’s a way to stay safe.

Sharing your location with someone you trust, letting a friend or family member know where you’re going, and sending a quick message if plans change late at night are simple habits that can make a meaningful difference. These aren’t about being monitored; they’re about making sure someone knows where you are if something goes wrong.

Alcohol Changes Everything

This isn’t about telling students not to drink. It’s about understanding how alcohol affects decision-making. Judgment can be impaired, awareness can decrease, and situations can escalate in ways that wouldn’t happen otherwise.

Knowing your limits, watching your drink, avoiding accepting drinks from strangers, and making sure friends look out for each other are not outdated ideas—they’re practical ones. Many of the situations that lead to problems begin with small lapses in awareness.

Walk Together

One of the simplest ways to reduce risk is also one of the most overlooked: don’t walk alone when you don’t have to. It’s surprising how often students leave the same place at the same time and then head off in different directions alone, even late at night.

Walking with others, using campus escort services, or calling for a ride are all easy choices that can significantly improve safety. There’s no advantage to walking alone, especially when safer options are available.

Dorm Room Security Matters

Something as simple as locking a door can prevent a problem before it starts. Many thefts on college campuses aren’t the result of forced entry—they’re crimes of opportunity. An unlocked dorm room, even for a few minutes, can be all it takes.

Making it a habit to lock your door every time you leave, no matter how briefly, is a small action that can have a big impact.

Dating Has Changed

Technology has made it easier than ever to meet new people, but it has also made it easier to meet people you know very little about. That doesn’t mean dating is unsafe—it just means it requires awareness.

Meeting in public places, telling someone where you’re going, arranging your own transportation, and trusting your instincts are all simple precautions that can help reduce risk. And again, if something doesn’t feel right, leaving is always the right decision.

Parents Need to Let Go… Carefully

One of the most difficult parts of parenting is recognizing when your role begins to change. You’re no longer making every decision for your child—you’re helping them learn how to make better decisions for themselves.

That transition requires trust. It means believing that the values and lessons you’ve shared over the years will guide them when they need it most. It also means accepting that you won’t always be there to intervene.

The Tool Isn’t the Conversation

People often ask me which safety product I recommend for college students. It’s a reasonable question, but it’s not the most important one.

The real question is whether you’ve had the conversation. Does your son or daughter understand how to recognize a potentially dangerous situation? Do they know it’s okay to leave? Do they feel comfortable calling you at any hour if something doesn’t feel right?

Would they know that you’d rather drive hours to pick them up than receive a call from a detective?

Those are the questions that matter. Everything else comes after.

One More Thing

Every year, thousands of students leave home for the first time. Most of them will have an incredible experience. They’ll make lifelong friends, grow as individuals, and gain the independence that college is meant to provide.

That’s exactly how it should be.

The goal isn’t to create anxiety—it’s to encourage preparation. Spending fifteen minutes having an honest conversation before move-in day can make a difference that lasts far beyond those first few weeks on campus.

Because the best time to prepare for a difficult situation is long before one ever arrives.

Printable College Safety Checklist

Print this checklist and review it before move-in day.

□ Share your location with a trusted family member or friend.

□ Save campus police and local emergency numbers in your phone.

□ Know where emergency call boxes are located.

□ Lock your dorm room every time you leave.

□ Never leave drinks unattended.

□ Watch out for your friends and expect them to watch out for you.

□ Meet first dates in public places.

□ Arrange your own transportation.

□ Trust your instincts.

□ Call home if something doesn't feel right.

□ Carry legal personal safety equipment where permitted.

□ Have the conversation before move-in day—not after something happens.

Key Takeaways

• College brings new freedoms and new responsibilities.

• Preparation is more valuable than fear.

• Parents should focus on conversations, not just equipment.

• Situational awareness and good decision-making reduce risk.

• Small habits often make the biggest difference.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should every college student carry pepper spray?

Laws vary by state and by college campus. Before carrying any self-defense product, students should understand local laws and campus policies.  Keep in mind, pepper spray will never do them any good at the bottom of a backpack, trapped inside their purse, or back in the dorm room.  If they're going to have it, teach them how to use it.  

Should students use campus escort services?

If a campus offers escort services and a student feels uncomfortable walking alone, using them is always a reasonable option.  It's nothing to be embarrassed about, shy about, or hesitant about.  It's there for a reason.

What's the most important safety advice for new college students?

Pay attention to your surroundings, trust your instincts, and never hesitate to leave a situation that doesn't feel right.  Situational awareness.  Get your eyes off your phone and on your surroundings.  

Footnotes

1. U.S. Department of Education, Campus Safety and Security Data Analysis Cutting Tool.

2. U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, reports on criminal victimization and sexual violence.

3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Violence Prevention resources.

Related Articles

• The Biggest Lie About Self-Defense

• Why Criminals Choose Some Victims and Ignore Others

• Why Situational Awareness Is Your Best Self-Defense Tool

• The Safety Checklist Every Freshman Should Print Before Leaving Home

About the Author

David Happe has spent more than three decades in the personal safety industry. He has served as Executive Vice President of Mace Security International, President of Fox Labs Pepper Spray, and founded Vigilant Personal Protection Systems, creator of one of America's leading personal alarm product lines. Today, he manufactures pepper spray in the United States and writes Fight Back to help families make better-informed decisions about personal safety.

Thank you for reading Fight Back.

I started Fight Back because I believe good information can make people safer. If something you read today helps you avoid becoming a victim, better protect your family, or simply think differently about personal safety, then I've accomplished exactly what I set out to do.

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Until next time...

Take Your Safety Into Your Own Hands™

David Happe
Founder, PepperSprayWarehouse.com